Meaning to my Life

I have been living in that doubt ever since.
I have been wanting to understand the words they mince.
I have been in constant dilema for so long.
Trapped in a self-struggle, I just can't seem to move on.

Not been able to figure out how to act.
On trivial issues, I often over-react.
Dunno how right it is to follow Tit-For-Tat.
Dunno why everyone is a diplomat.

All I wanna do is find a
Meaning to my life
I can't rest until i find a
Meaning to my life

I have been trying to care for them straight from the heart
But they back-bite when it's time for them to play their parts
Behind my back, they call me names
I have been reduced to a Joker of their card games

I have been waiting for a person to accept me that way I am
Who doesn't consider me just another SPAM
I have been longing for a deeper relationship
Not just another fair-weather friendship

All I wanna do is find a
Meaning to my life
I can't rest until i find a
Meaning to my life
I am afraid to open my heart again
Coz i don't want to encounter that deep pain.

There are moments when I dunno where to go
Should try to bring about a change or just blindly follow
Deep inside, I feel so hollow
What to do, I simply don't know.

Is there anyone who feels the way I feel
Torn between the things so unreal
I derive no inspiration
Everything seems just a negotiation.

All I wanna do is find a
Meaning to my life
I can't rest until i find a
Meaning to my life
I am afraid to open my heart again
Coz i don't want to encounter that deep pain.
I know it's not a justifiable act
But I can't see no way out of this trap...