An Interview Slut

You research on the company and you thoroughly read the job profile

You don't know whether to come across as aggressive or behave docile

Of whatever information you have and whatever you deem as worthwhile

A resume and a cover letter is something which you will go ahead and compile.

 

Now you are ready - all set to apply at a million firms

That's the only thing you will do all through this academic term

Your batch-mates will agree and your seniors will affirm

That now you are ready to enter the world full of chirm.

 

Everyday, without fail, from six until nine, you attend their Networking Nights

Then you come back home, sit in front of PC and visit their career websites

Then you visit ft.com and read all the latest news bytes

And you think: Are we out of recession yet or is there something still left to fight?

 

Nevertheless, you want a job and hence you go ahead and APPLY ONLINE

You take HIS name because you believe in the power of DIVINE

You bow your head in front of HIS shrine

A meaningful job at a great company is the only thing you pine.

 

You fill the long tedious form and revise and re-revise before you hit SUBMIT

To double check that everything is in order and there is nothing that you did omit

It is the time when you are nervous but exasperated in the same bit

But then you decide to click the button and to their server, let all your information transmit.

 

Then you wait and wait and every day seems like an eternity

When you don't hear from them for long, you will call up everyone in your fraternity

Those who have received the CALL, towards them you will develop an inevitable animosity

And somewhere deep down inside, you tend to doubt your own ability.

 

One fine day, they decide to have pity on you by sending you an invite

"4 pm 20^th November One Raffles Quay. Please confirm if the interview slot is alright."

You can't control your joy and you immediately decide to wash and iron your whites

And then sit in front of PC to research on the company all through the night.

 

Dressed as an Executive, you reach 15 minutes ahead of time

You sit in their office – the decor is so sublime

Then they call you in for an interview and you know that this chance is ultime

You start selling yourself – "I worked in Motorola, developed an application so real-time..."

 

You don't know what they are looking for; you don't know what they want to hear

You try to exude panache even though you are trembling inside with fear

In this 30 minute interview, they drill you and you have no choice but to bear

"Do you have any questions for us?" and phew, now you say a silent prayer.

 

You exit the interview room and DAMN, you SCREWED it all up

"We will CALL you", they said and all you could muster up was a "YUP"

You begin to launch in a self-doubt session, and feel like a mere pup

It is as humiliating as having a one-night stand after getting high in a pick-up pub.

 

Suddenly, Your E71 comes to life – "You have a mail" and you start to go off your nut

The mail says: "Dear Rahul, you were really great during the interview BUT..."

This is happening for the Nth time and you know you have again fallen in the same rut

And you need not read any further because you have been reduced to an Interview SLUT...